12/9/00 - A murder in Attleborough, it just can't be.  I realized I speak far too plummily(!?) when asking for a ticket to Attleborough.  I said "Att-ull-buh-ruh", they (he/she etc.) said "Ah-ul-brrr".

12/9/00 - Gratuitous sty-mouthed pig weblog, if such a thing can be.

12/9/00 - It's weird but the only Jack. C. Tract publications I see are the anti-Catholic ones.  Yesterday I caught a glimpse of The Death Cookie (which someone had thankfully thrown to the ground) and in the past someone has thrust Are Roman Catholics Christians? at me.  Laugh at them here.

12/0/00  - I remember when petrol hit £2 a gallon!

"Police were called to a Texaco garage in Derby after it lifted the price of unleaded petrol from 80p a litre to £1.99, the equivalent of more than £9 a gallon. Super unleaded was even more expensive at £2.50 a litre, or £11.36 a gallon."

9/9/00 - A collection of photographs of the staff from Private Eye.

9/9/00 - Britain has crop circles, Ohio has corn mazes. (via rebecca's pocket)

9/9/00 - From Salons pick of 1999s best albums (really late I know):

"7. The Mountain Goats, "Bitter Melon Farm" (Ajax)
Maybe it's not a great record, maybe it was recorded on boomboxes, maybe the backing vocals are out of tune, maybe John Darnielle's chord progressions are frightfully similar, maybe 27-track single and B-side collections are not a great idea. But the songs on "Bitter Melon Farm" are about love, and going, and reconciliation, and purple skies, and the way cranberries taste in your mouth. And it was the only record that made me cry."

9/9/00 - We wait with anticipation: The Daily Doozer Relaunch.

9/9/00 - To go with the Eurovision drinking game, here's the John Peel Sweet Eating Game:

"The rules are simple - have a sweet whenever one of the following occurs:

1.John plays a record at the wrong speed
2.John plays a record that "Starts a bit quietly"
3.John starts mumbling something incomprehensible to a member of his family or his producer.
4.John reads out a request for a record, then proclaims that he doesn't have the record with him and instead, hopes that the listener will like the track that he's about to play instead. Eat two sweets if the track is completely different to the one requested.
5.John reads out a request for a record, then proclaims that he's just popped out to his garage to get a copy then plays it (for shows broadcast from Peel Acres only)
6.John reads out a request for a record, then proclaims that he's just popped out to his garage to get a copy then plays it at the wrong speed.
7.John moans about someone messing up his microphone settings.
8.John plays a record then proclaims that he doesn't know the name of the band, the name of the song or anything else at all about the record."

7/9/00 - Someone might find this handy, The Best of British, The Americans Guide to speaking British!

7/9/00 - Things I learned as a child: now I can find the truth:

"A bit of trivia: Queen Anne's Lace is also known as Mother Die, because if you brought it into your house, according to superstition, your mother would die."

"Queen Anne's Lace has been used for centuries as a contraceptive. Even the well-known fifth century physician/herbalist, Hippocrates prescribed it as an abortifacient. When herbal lore such as this survives the test of time, there is a good chance there is some truth behind it."

7/9/00 - An excellent edition of Metascene, Louise Brooks and Duran Duran who could ask for anything more?

7/9/00 - Perhaps the ultimate gratuitous pig link.

6/9/00 - Get Windows 98 to look like you actually want it to look.

6/9/00 - A big story at the start of the summer, CBS reports Britain is a more violent and dangerous place than the US.  Cue much outraged spluttering.

6/9/00 - If I find I have lots of time on my hands I might attempt this:

"This page of notes is a distillation of my experiences in transferring LPs to CDR. I offer it as hopefully unbiased advice to others wishing to do the same thing. I have attempted to address the whole process at a reasonably deep level."

"First, an introduction as to why this page is even here: About late February 1997, I was struck with an insane and uncontrolable desire to find out what exactly were the mods and the rockers."

6/9/00 - Been there, done that, got the stitches.

6/9/00 - Do you want see some kittens?

I pinched that from Rhino Handmade [warning: Quicktime] which has items I'd love, The Stooges "1970: The Complete Fun House Sessions" for instance, and ones  I certainly wouldn't, Tiny Tim "Live! At The Royal Albert Hall" anyone?

5/9/00 - George Bush and his 'major league asshole' is all over the news.  But this is just brilliant:

"BBC used the word; made it sound like quite an elegant epithet. ABC radio news said "the governor used a word that rhymed with 'glass bowl.'" And that's what I'm calling my enemies today: major league glassbowls."

5/9/00 - This site was on TV but it had already been shutdown.

5/9/00 - The Poster Girls of World War II.

5/9/00 - Old article on Net censorship.

5/9/00 - Not just silly season, totally stupid season:

"The coverage prompted the Sun to claim cleavage week was "gripping Britain". So the earnest scribblers of EC1 should not have been too surprised when the Sun's bus drew up in Farringdon Road, chart music blaring and half a dozen models in white bikinis waving from the top deck. "It's National Cleavage Week!" boomed a man with a microphone. "Show us your cleavages!""

"According to a very primly camouflaged BBC news report, Argentine filmmaker and actor Fabian Stratas has made the film Fuckland by traveling to the island group's capital, Port Stanley, last December and shooting with three digital cameras -- he and his crew posing all the while as tourists and never getting found out."

5/9/00 - I wonder why they called it Beowulf?  It would certainly speed up my websurfing.

5/9/00 - Uh oh, Electronic Telegraph to be 'relaunched'.  (via gorjuss)

5/9/00 - After moving from Tallahassee to Sheffield this actually strikes a cord.

And of course the obligatory translation guide:

"I created this page so that when you hear the following words and phrases, you will know what the speaker is talking about.  If you are thinking about incorporating some of them into your own speech, use discretion. Some phrases are not appropriate to use in polite company (I have tried to indicate this whenever possible) and others just sound very stupid when said with an American accent!"